i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
