I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
