How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize