question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
