Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
