So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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