I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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