yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
