Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize