They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
