I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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