He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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