Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
