I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
