we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
