sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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