you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
birth control should be required to get into college
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
