Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
