I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
