I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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