I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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