According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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