I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
