I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
