My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just cut my nipple shaving
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Come on in and take your pants off
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