Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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