Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
