My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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