worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize