i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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