My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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