there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My liver just had a heart attack.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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