If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
