You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
