Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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