i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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