I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
