Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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