thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
