Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
