Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
