guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
