so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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