I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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