someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
