So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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