I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
His nipple licking is glorious
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