I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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