Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
