I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
