Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
