The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
