I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
