So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
false alarm, still single
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
