Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
