It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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