his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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