batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
