i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
