The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
