You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
