I got chris browned last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
