Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
