ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize