Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
